Far from being saintly, I pray for the grace to rediscover the "me" created as I was intended to be by God. It is like I know I have pushed myself out of the mold, and as I try to squeeze back in, I find that I cannot fit into that mould intended only for me. I have gone away from my true self and need God now in my life to reshape me back into the soul that is pleasing to Him.
This means coming to terms and facing the excesses I have come to love in this life that I have attached to myself but which are, in fact, not really a good fit for me. I find that I need to recognize those things that are not a good fit for my soul. (Yikes!)
As I hope to pray a bit more than what I have let my schedule permit, I know that as I should practice fasting and abstinence on meals, the harder part of fasting and abstaining on this journey would be to let go of the things I have let myself become attached to. The scary thing is that some of the things may have become so deeply ingrained in my system that I may not be able to recognize them or worse, I may make excuses for them. I pray to God that He may let the Holy Spirit guide me in recognizing the things I should let go of, maybe not all at once but at least, slowly, I may be able to give up something of significance this Lent.
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(Excerpt, Responsorial Psalm of the Mass, Ps. 51:12~14 & 17)
It looks like a very tall order to accomplish in just 40 days, but at the same time, I take comfort and place my hope in the reassuring invitation that the Lord has for me today...
Father of Mercy, unworthily I come before You hoping that your mercy and kindness will merit Your love to see me renewed and recreated in the person you have intended me to be, instead of the person I have created for myself.
Help me to trust in Your love fully that I may give myself to You so that you may mold me once again into something more beautiful and worthy of You.
Mother Mary, I ask for your love and prayers to present to God my petition through the merits of the Most Holy Wounds of your Son, Jesus Christ.